I've been having frequent flashbacks to a conversation we had with our buyer's agent, Lynn, almost two years ago. She was mentioning various places in the area that we could go during "suicide hour," the late afternoon before Daddy got home. In my naive, new-mom state, I pretended to agree and accept her advice, but really brushed it off. My child took afternoon naps, and it was only about an hour after he woke up before Paul got home. I could handle an hour.
I've been fighting an uphill battle for weeks now, trying to hold on for dear life to Benjamin's naps, but to no avail. He's done. When he does nap, he sits in bed until 9:30 or 10 before he goes to sleep, and is a mess the next day.
I guess my real issue with this whole no-nap thing is me. That was the only time I had to just be Sarah, and not Mommy. That's when I'd read, or blog, or do my projects. That's when I'd regroup. It's not the same enforcing "quiet time," because he's constantly popping out to check on me. He's pretty good about giving me an hour or so to do my thing, but after that, there's at least three hours where he requires my full attention and energy. Thus, "suicide hour(s)." Even if I am playing with him, I'll hear "Mommy, will you play with me?" all day long. It's pretty draining. Another recent habit that he has is asking "Mommy, are you happy?" all day long. This question comes more frequently when he knows he's done something he shouldn't, which makes it hard not to say "Yes, Mommy's happy." through gritted teeth.
That's the way it goes though. You think you have this motherhood business down, and a new phase will inevitably throw you off. It's a constant readjustment. If it weren't for this repeated stretching and pushing, I'd never develop into the person I know I need to be. I'd still be that new mom, thinking I know everything. And I guess as I've lost my sense of self over and over, and tried to find it over and over, it's been good. I've become a little more patient, a little more flexible, and a little more understanding. I can't wait for the teenage years...but by then I'll probably be a saint, right?
6 comments:
Oh, I love you. Even with all that going on you still can end it on a positive note. It is hard not to have a moment to just be you. I know you are a great mom and one that we can look up too. Keep it up "Happy Mom."!
Lydia stopped napping at 2 1/2, and I was very sad. It is hard to find that rejuvenation time during the day!
I too feel like Motherhood is continually redefining - and I only have two kids who are both little. One good thing about being a mom is a lot of the areas that I have improved on are things that I would never work on otherwise, if it were up to me, like patience.
Hmmm...I'm not a saint yet, and I have two teenagers. But I can sympathize with the loss of naps. My kids stopped napping at 2years also and it's hard to make it through the afternoon and early evening.
My bad habit is that I stay up too late because I love having some time to myself when the house is quiet and no one needs me. Unfortunately that doesn't happen until after 11 or 12.
Oh, I love you. Thanks for giving me a little moment of re-affirmation and hope that I'm growing, too, along with my kids. I admire your introspection and humor. We need to talk more.
I will admit that it is hard for me to hear laments about a 3 year old giving up his nap. It makes me very self-righteous and martyrous and downright irritating to be around (I feel that acknowledging how annoying i am about this give me permission to be all those awful things). So here I go: Andrew gave up napping about 2 weeks after he turned 2. Right when Will was born. I thought my world was crashing down around me. It just isnt parenting if your kids nap for 3 years. Or sleep through the night. Or eat willingly. Or maybe it is a sign of good parenting if they do those things. I try to think of it in the light most martyrous to me and ignore any other implications.
Oh the loss of naps. That is a sad day indeed. You'll just have to come over and swim with us in the afternoons sometimes! BTW, I laughed out loud at your "Yes I'm happy" through gritted teeth comment. Love your blog!
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