Green Bluebirds: Frankenora and The Legend of Chubbs

Friday, October 18, 2013

Frankenora and The Legend of Chubbs

There once was a fair young maiden who loved to paint her fingernails. One bright and sunny afternoon, the maiden lopped a good part of her delicate pointer finger off as she was fending off dragons. She was exceedingly brave, and allowed the mad doctor to stitch and mummify her, understanding that her precious fingernail might never be the same. All was right in the land (despite the King's three days wanderings off to far distant lands), until that fateful day when the Queen ordered the wrappings be removed from the fair maiden's finger. The sight of the stitched finger terrified the maid, and she resisted with all her power to avoid facing the ugly truth. Not one week later, a kind doctor did the deed for the Queen, wrapping the finger expertly and assuring everyone that all would be well.

But it was that same doctor that raised the alarm for the fair maiden's rotund baby sister. When it was discovered that the babe's thigh rolls were not evenly matched, the doctor sent her straightway to be x-rayed. Twas hoped that her tiny hips were correctly formed underneath the extra padding.

The x-rays were thoroughly examined, and the babe was pronounced well - abnormally fluffy legs and all. And the kingdom rejoiced.

4 comments:

Marc and Miriam Deru said...: You're silly. My goodness she has chunk to spare!; 9:02 PM
Jeannine said...: This story was thrilling! I'm sorry to hear that Nora has to deal with this, but I'm glad you've got a good doctor helping her heal!
And I'm also so glad that there's nothing wrong with Lydia! Haha that picture is seriously awesome. She is certainly not starving!; 2:30 PM
Liz said...: Oh my gosh, the chub. Glad she's okay!; 12:21 AM
Rachel Sorber said...: Loved reading this one. Poor Nora. I'm sure the finger will look better in time. And I can't get over Lydia. I've shown that picture to many of my friends and family. I can't get enough.; 2:58 AM

Noraisms

1/19/14
"Why you like Daddy's germs? Because why do you kiss him on the lips at home?"

6/20/13
Nora randomly asks if she can say a prayer in my presence: "...and bless that Benjamin can get on the school bus and go to school and that we can go to the Butterfly House..."

6/10/13

While Paul was bouncing her around, Nora tooted and sheepishly said, "That's not propriate!"

6/10/13

Mom: Nora, tell Lydia a happy story.

Nora: Unicorns and pink trees!

6/08/13

While Paul was spinning Nora around, she started aggressively rubbing his cheeks and gleefully said, "You a SCRATCHY lil man!"

5/8/13
Observing from her car window a random female adult without any children: "Look, a Mommy! Poor Mommy, she doesn't have a girl."

4/28/13
At my mention of George Washington: "George WASHING MACHINE!?!"

3/27/13
Referring to Lydia's fuzzy newborn head, "Oh, she's so cozy!"

12/21/12
Nora often says, "I can't need that!" when explaining that she doesn't want something as in "No. I can't need broccoli."

12/20/12
Dad: "Nora, do you want me to buckle you in?"
Nora: "Yeah...actually no, Mommy!"

She uses "actually no" surprisingly often. When Dad goes to get her out of her crib in the morning, "Actually No! Mommy!"

Mom: Do you want jam on your toast?
Nora: Yes. Actually, no.

Peter Prattle

6/20/13
"I'm glad Daddy decided to marry you mom....I'm glad that I grew inside your tummy. Because I LOVE being ME!"

6/10/13

Peter: I wish I was a cheetah, because I could eat anything!

Mom: What would you eat?

Peter: EVERYTHING!

5/21/13
Referring to the voice-over narration in the Tale of Despereaux, "I don't like people talking about the movie!"
I think he's his Dad's son.

3/27/13
Referring to Lydia's newborn ears, "Her ears look like ham!"

12/30/12
After spending a few minutes playing with an interactive coloring display at the LA Temple's visitors center, a befuddled Peter asked, "Why does God's home have crayons for us to draw on?"

12/07/12
Dad: "Aaron was Moses's brother."
Peter: "Oh! Just like the 'Aaron' Space Museum!!"

12/03/12
Dad: "Peter, I love who you are; you make me so happy."
Peter: "...and you don't want any more of me."

11/29/12
"I'm not someone who turns bad dreams into good dreams; I'm just a PERSON!"

10/29/12
Mom: If you grow up to be a doctor you can learn how to fix people.
Peter: I just want to be a chef. Actually! I want to be a doctor, a BOY doctor when I grow up because there aren't many BOY doctors in this land.

10/8/12
After Peter read Red Hen six times in half an hour:
Dad: "You can do anything you put your mind to."
Peter: "Like when I'm a chef I could learn how to not get my hands burned?"

8/24/12
"I'm the SWEET-Heart of the Family!"

8/24/12
Playing Scrabble with the boys:
Peter: "s-e-k-x. What's sekx?"
Mom: ?!...
Peter: "What's sekx?"
Mom: "It's whether you're a boy or a girl."
Peter: "Ohhhh. Sekx."

3/7/12

Ben: "Guess what I'm going to ask for for my birthday?"

Me: "What?"

Ben: "An Ipod."

Me: ".....?!"

Peter: "Guess what I'm going to ask for for MY birthday? An escape pod. It's from Star Wars."

3/6/12

Butterflies have butter in them, but we don't eat butterflies."

2/14/12

Peter, who has a cold complained during lunch that his "breath hurt." I'm pretty sure he meant his throat.

1/9/12

After recovering from a dinnertime tantrum, "I have an angry face on my smiley."

11/10/11

Very matter-of-factly, after observing some windblown black and white garbage in a neighbor's yard, "Looks like a penguin is dead."

10/14/11

"I'm just tipping on my toes."

10/13/11

"I'm just raking the inside of my mouth...because I have a bun stuck inside my teeth."

8/10/11

Peter: "Mmmm...this is yummy!"

Me: "You like caramels?"

Peter: "No, car-di-NALS! ...you don't chew on the cardinals or you won't have any teeth, and you'll be a baby and I'll say, 'where's my teeth?'"

8/2/11

After feeling my legs, "Your knees are so scratchy! You better go scratch them."

7/29/11

Peter picked up a pretty rock and exclaimed, "A Julian! I found my own Julian! it's white and black and blue!"

7/18/11

Referring to a dandelion that his cousin found, "She found a dandy land!"

7/15/11

Not wanting to take any pain medication after landing on his head, Peter cried, "I want to have a hurt head!"

5/12/11

Peter: "It's the weekend?"

Dad: "No."

Peter: "It's the work-end?"

4/25/11

Benjamin: "Where's my orange?"

Peter: "In my throat."

4/17/11

Mom: "Pick a Sunday movie. It's Sunday."

Peter: "NO! A COOL movie! Not a nice movie."

4/16/1

After making a mess, "I'm a natural."

4/15/11

"I'm NOT a baby! I'm a JOKE!"

2/23/11

Mom: "Thank you for being the peacemaker, Peter!"

Peter: "No, Coolmaker!"

1/26/11

"I need a towel. NOT the flower one. That'd be gross."

Benjaminisms

3/8/12

Peter, referring to a Jeep: "That car has a wheel on the back of it!"

Benjamin: "That's called a GPS."

1/10/12

"If I ever catch a Leprechaun, I will wish to be an angel or a prophet."

8/8/11

Referring to the Boppy, "Nora's milking pillow is on my bed."

6/5/11

Peter: "I'm going to be an astronaut when I grow up."

Benjamin: "But be careful! An asteroid might come and break your rocket!"

5/1/11

Benjamin recently watched the entire first season of the original Transformers animated series. This morning while piling into the van Benjamin said, "Let's get ready to go IronHive!" thus aptly naming our family transport.

3/4/11

"I don't know why all the days are called tomorrow."

12/13/10

Benjamin, in response to Peter's moaning: "Peter, that freaks me out!"

11/20/10

Someday soon, I'll have hairs in my nose like Daddy...then I won't have to pick it with my finger."

11/12/10

Measuring Nora with a ruler: "Looks like you're one and a forty half. That means you're a little bit big...."

Measuring Peter with a ruler: "Looks like you're one and a fifty half. That means you're a little bit chunky big."

8/23/10

Paul, packing up our suitcase: "Zip it up!"

Benjamin's quick response: "Zip it up, fuzz ball!"

6/6/10

"I can't wait to meet the new baby! Your tummy is getting REALLY big...are there two babies in there?"

5/1/10

Sarah, making a dumb joke: "We're going to feed the koi fish. They're very coy."

Benjamin: "Are they shy?"

2/23/10
"You have to be careful! You don't want to fall and break your leg skeletons!"

12/11/09
"Mmmm! That bagel was so, so, SO plain!" (describing to us just how delicious his plain bagel with plain cream cheese was)

11/2/09
Sarah: "Tell Peter about Santa Clause."
Benjamin, to Peter: "Santa Clause is...he's kind of like a wizard."

10/24/09
"Butter is the new toast."

10/22/09
Benjamin: "Hey Mom! Have you ever heard of penguin squash?"
Sarah: "Nope..."
Benjamin: "That's the squash that penguins eat."

10/13/09
Sarah: "Daddy's not coming home tonight. He's on a business trip."
Benjamin: "Oh! Kind of like Business on Ice?"

10/7/09
Peter: "Bababa...shriek!"
Benjamin: "Peter said 'Gandalf!'"

10/6/09
"I was in my room and I heard the rain, and the thunder was taking some pictures."

9/25/09
Sarah: "Why are you so happy?"
Benjamin: "I'm so happy because I'm excited to be your kid!"

9/24/09
"I just played "Hot Cross Buns" with my mouth!"

8/23/09
"Let me take off my pants so I can shake out all my nickels and diamonds."

8/12/09
After sneezing he called out, "Hey! I just made some bless-shoos!"

8/8/09
"After dinner, I get to have a very special treat...it's called oatmeal!"

6/22/09
"NOOO, Mommy! Don't go outside by yourself. The big, scary bugs might come and take you!"

6/13/09
Paul: "Can I have a bite of your strawberry custard?" Ben: "OK! Oh...you should take smaller bites, Daddy."

5/15/09
"Oh! Rodents are my best buddies!"

5/3/09
"Wake up, Daddy! We don't sleep at church. That's not the place we go to sleep!"

4/29/09
While "huffing and puffing" and blowing on his hot dinner, Benjamin said, "Not by the hair of my chimi-chimi-changa!"

4/28/09
"Mommy, can I marry you in the Salt Lake City Temple?"

4/17/09
While taking off his favorite "Thomas Toy Train" shirt during his bedtime routine, Benjamin assured us he could put it away in the drawer. "It's ok. It's a little bit clean." He was probably right. I'm sure there were clean spots!

4/1/09
Benjamin yelled this from the bathroom: "Sawah! Take that thing off your hair! That's yucky! We don't put things in our hair!"
What I want to know is how did he know? He hates it when I put my hair up, and I had just put it in a clip.

3/11/09
"Might Mommy will fall on you, and you will bleed a lot." Hmmm...not sure where that came from, but apparently I have a lethal mass.

2/26/09
Benjamin refers to himself as "Little Tiger" these days, but this morning he said, "I'm not Little Tiger. I'm Baby Tiger. And Mommy is Mommy Tiger and Daddy is Daddy Tiger, and Peter is a dog."

2/12/09
After clipping Benjamin's fingernails, he said to me, "Now I never scratch Peter again when he cries. Now I never get a time out!"

1/27/09
Paul: "Who's that?" (referring to Abinadai).

Benjamin: "I can't say it. I'm too sick."

Sarah: "Do you need to go potty?"

Benjamin: "No, I already did last week at the library."

1/4/09
As we drove past Salt Lake, I pointed to the city and told Benjamin "That's Salt Lake City." He replied, "No, we only put salt on eggs. Not on buildings and mountains."