Handcarts

This Mother's Day, I was given a short speaking assignment in church for a special program for the women of the congregation. We were given a topic relating to our heritage- the Mormon Pioneers, who were forced to leave their homes and all of their earthly possessions because of persecution.  Many traveled by handcart with limited available space- roughly 17 pounds per person. Naturally, this made them evaluate what was most important to them, and what they could realistically bring.

I thought I'd record what I shared, if for no other reason than to keep for posterity.

As I started thinking about what I might bring in my handcart, my mind began going in several different directions.
Physically speaking, I think I could do with very little- especially given today's technology. I could pack a few pans, some compact sleeping bags, some water purification tablets...it would be rough, but if I had to, I don't think I'd have much trouble leaving everything behind. Oh, I'd miss my bed, plumbing, AC and a host of other modern-day conveniences, but I really feel like I could do it.
I am not a pack rat. I live in a fairly small home with four children under the age of seven. Maybe I'll get sentimental when I'm older, but I'm pretty ruthless when it comes to getting rid of stuff. I have often joked to Paul that the reason I never lock our doors is because even if a robber broke in, there is nothing we own that I would feel devastated losing. And the stuff I do care about- family histories, photos and journals- are all things I'm sure no one would think to touch.
What I would be devastated losing is my family. How grateful I am to be sealed to them in the temple! Because of the covenants Paul and I have made, we can be together forever, no matter what happens to us in this life. One section in last month's visiting teaching message that really jumped out at me was this: "The strength, power and blessings of the temple covenants [sustained] the Latter-day Saints during their journey [west], when they [suffered] cold, heat, hunger, poverty, sickness, accidents and death." Just that short time with the temple in their midst was crucially important for their journey forward. Those temple covenants that they made sustained them in a very literal way. It was not a "leap in the dark" for them.
When I think about real sacrifices I make in my life, I keep coming back to the word "time." My handcart could easily be pared down to the basics if I had to physically move my family to Zion, but I don't think I've reached that point yet with my time. What is my time filled with? As anyone with small children- or who has had small children- knows, it is spent nursing, changing diapers, doing laundry, cleaning spills, reading books, putting toys away a hundred times over, cooking meals, getting kids to and from school, doing dishes, and the list goes on and on.
If I could identify with anyone from the scriptures, sadly, it would be Martha. I have been a mother now for almost seven years, and still struggle making the time each day to sit at the Savior's feet and really hear his word. If that were easy, then it wouldn't be a sacrifice.  But I know that when I do make that sacrifice, and make sure my time with the Savior is in my handcart first, then I am blessed. I am more gentle and patient with my children. I am more in tune with the Spirit and aware of others' needs. My home, though perhaps still messy, has the Holy Ghost in it. I am even physically strengthened beyond my normal abilities.
I know all these things as surely as I now anything, and yet I still struggle. I can so identify with Nephi's psalm as he laments his own repeated failures, "O then if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?" (2 Nephi 4:26)
If anything, I make my life  harder by not putting the Savior in my handcart first. I know the things I need to do. I need personal daily feasting in the scriptures, I need to more frequently communicate with my Heavenly Father through prayer, I need to be in the temple as often as I can. I need to renew my strength if I want to make it to Zion, and I need my children to see that I need it. Telling them that I believe is not enough. They need to see me pack my handcart each morning before going on our journey, and see those things that matter most. Most things I wouldn't mind losing, but I cannot lose my family, and I do have some power over whether or not that happens.

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful women in my life! I feel lucky to have so many great examples to look up to.