It's finally starting to really hit me that I have four kids and that I'm seriously outnumbered. This time it happened to coincide with Lydia's transition to her real crib. For the first few months of her life, I just kept her in a pack n' play next to our bed, and that worked out perfectly. She even miraculously figured out (on her own) how to sleep 11-12 solid hours a night during this arrangement without a single feeding. I think it must be because she's so chubby.
I've had to eat my words. I was absolutely sure we were not going to be living in this house when we had our fourth child. Since it's a three bedroom home and the rooms are fairly small, I thought there was no way we could possibly arrange it so the baby could have her own room. That's always been really important to me so that they can establish healthy sleep habits. But here we are- four kids, still in this house, and we've all had to adjust- including me.
The first night in her crib and new shared room (she's with Nora now), Lydia slept through the night like she always does. But since then, she's started waking up twice a night. Nora even randomly woke up one of the nights and crawled into our bed. So it's been a bit of a transition. I'm not sure when/if sleep "training" will happen or how, but hopefully soon we'll get back to where we were and everyone will get better rest.
Lydia has been a little more challenging during the day too. Now that she's comfortably out of her "fourth trimester," she doesn't drift off to sleep whenever and wherever. So I've spent a lot of time getting her down for naps, keeping kids quiet, getting her back to sleep when they wake her up, etc, etc. It's been kind of awful, and I've felt a lot of guilt because of it. My heart broke that first time when I had to shoo Nora out of her own special bedroom, because I was
still trying to get Lydia to go to sleep. It's broken time and time again when I've had to quiet my boys, who are just being loud, rambunctious boys, because I'm trying so hard to let my littlest one
stay asleep.
After a few days of this, I decided to forget the naps and just get out of the house. I took the kids to the zoo, even though it was a sweltering hot day with about a thousand percent humidity. :) I'm glad we did.
We spent a lot of the time in the reptile and ape houses since they're air conditioned. The kids loved watching the lemur babies.
The sea lion tunnel is also nice for warmer days, since it's climate controlled.
We saw the sea lion show for the first time. "Benny" the Sea Lion was really impressive!
It was a lot of fun. I really love my kids, and hope they still know that. Babies are hard, but they're not forever. Hopefully they'll have memories of their Mom doing fun stuff with them, and not the million other times when she didn't.
I think I really need to enjoy this time in our "snug" house more too. I often find myself on Remax, "just to see" what's out there. I found the perfect house this week- well within our price range (as in we'd be paying the same as we are now), SIX bedrooms, in our dream neighborhood and at the same school as many of the friends our kids go to church with, a beautiful private backyard, and built in 1986 (ours was built in 1950, so that feels pretty new to us!). It would have needed a little love, but I actually enjoy that part of making a house my own. So I contacted the realtor, and
almost scheduled a showing. That is until Paul and I stepped back and decided we're just not there yet. Our current house still has a lot that needs to be done to get it ready to sell, and we'd like to aggressively pay it down a little longer so we have a good solid down payment on our next home. Plus, we've felt really strongly all along that this is where we're supposed to be. So here we are, and we really do feel blessed. We really are. But sometimes it's good to write it down, just to remind myself.
Oh, I so hear you on the mom guilt thing. I hate shushing my girls so Paige can sleep, and I am clinging to the hope that they'll mostly remember the fun times, not the naggy times. I think, though, that just being aware of it goes a long way. Not driving yourself crazy with guilt, of course, but knowing how sensitive these little punkins are helps. We just do our best and pray and hope it's enough. And since you are amazing, I'm 100% sure what you're doing is perfect. And I hope you can start making your house dreams a reality soon(ish)!
ReplyDeleteAlso, on your previous posts, congrats to your sister-in-law! The food over there in Scotland and Ireland is pretty terrible, but the people are great and the scenery is mind-blowing. Also, you're making me miss Provo! I used to love seeing the balloons on July 4. It's too hot here in Arizona to do hot-air balloons in the summer: it's hotter outside than inside the balloons, so it won't work! Crazy place.
And last...sorry this is so long!...I really miss you and I wish so much we could just drop into each other's houses sometimes and chat. Maybe someday, right? :-)
good for you for recognizing that you aren't ready to to move yet, even though you found an amazing house! i don't know if i'd have the guts to wait! your house seems darling and i actually prefer 50's homes to 80's homes (which is what we have now!)
ReplyDeleteYes, yes to all of it! I hear you! Very good post, certainly to do just what you said-- remind yourself how it is for later on down the road-- but also to get a "hear, hear" from me and all the rest of us who feel this way about babies and kids and timing with houses. It is so hard some days... and weeks, and months... and there is so much to do. I love you. I miss you. You're doing great and your kids are wonderful!! See you soon. Love Mirm
ReplyDeleteI totally hear you about the outnumbered thing!!! It is hard, and there are a lot of days when you wonder if you've spent any time being patient, kind, or understanding to your young children, and even times when you have to actually stop and remind yourself how adorable and fun your older, noisier kids are!
ReplyDeleteBut it's true--babies don't last forever. With Katie I was forced to just carry on and give her the naps I could when I could. She has spent a huge percentage of her first year in her car seat, thus learning to nap on the go, eat on the go, and live life wherever we happen to be for her older siblings' sake. She can wake up with too much noise now, but it's generally unlikely. I guess she's been conditioned to get her sleep whenever she can, regardless of her circumstances. Poor thing. She doesn't seem to mind, though.
Anyway, good luck with the house. Maybe you could send the boys downstairs for a while? Wish I were there to help. I admire your desire to find contentment with what you have--you are a great example to all of us. Can't wait to see you SOON!!!